70．学会拒绝

学会拒绝。与人相处，有求必应是不切实际的。懂得如何拒绝，与懂得如何承诺同样重要，特别是对居于高位的人来说，更是如此。任何事都取决于你如何去做。有些人的拒绝比另一些人的承诺更让人感激。因为镀了金的“不”比干巴的“是”更得人心。有很多人总把“不”字挂在嘴边，事事令人厌恶。他们总是先拒绝，虽然后来也可能让步，却无法获得任何好处，因为他们一开始就让人失望。拒绝别人不要直截了当，要让别人渐渐地接受被拒绝的事实。绝不彻底回绝什么事——如果是那样，别人就再也不会依赖你。因此，要留一些希望，让你的拒绝更柔和。既然没有好处，就要用好言好语来补偿。“是”和“不”说起来很快，但说之前却是颇费脑筋。

70．Know how to refuse

Know how to refuse. One ought not to give way in everything nor to everybody. To know how to refuse is therefore as important as to know how to consent. This is especially the case with men of position. All depends on the how. Some men's No is thought more of than the Yes of others: for a gilded No is more satisfactory than a dry Yes. There are some who always have No on their lips, whereby they make everything distasteful. No always comes first with them, and when sometimes they give way after all, it does them no good on account of the unpleasing herald. Your refusal need not be point-blank: let the disappointment come by degrees. Nor let the refusal be final: that would destroy dependence; let some spice of hope remain to soften the rejection. Let politeness compensate and fine words supply the place of deeds. Yes and No are soon said, but give much to think over.